you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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