Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
