he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
