it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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