In the future we'll all be gay
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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