This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
