ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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