i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
