We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
