2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
