p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
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and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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