if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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