you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
