Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's just like the Real World with babies
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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