Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
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