uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
