i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
