I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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