I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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