69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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