my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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