apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize