I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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