Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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