Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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