I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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