another moral hangover. fuck.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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