Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
