Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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