piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize