are you still at the devil's house?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
