reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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