Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
