smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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