Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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