I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
