Someone shit on the floor
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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