i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
