Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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