i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
