OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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