I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize