i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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