wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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