I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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