Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
