This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
