This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
