I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize