everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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