In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
