The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
