The beer is more important than you right now.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
