Whod you bang
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
