Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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