K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
