i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I met the friendliest cop last night
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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