I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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