he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
