You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
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Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
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It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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