what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Randomize
