so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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