Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
