the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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