I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
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