i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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