Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
